my husband has a bad habit of alway wingeing at children

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Ref no: 0027#

Date: Saturday, 12th March, 2011

Category

Child upbringing

Title

my husband has a bad habit of alway wingeing at children

Question

my husband has a bad habit of alway wingeing at children, dont do this dont do that unnecessarily. be quiet and sit down, dont make noise. when they are naughty i agree that one needs to discipline. i have 3 daughters. he doesnt believe in disciplining but hitting. he slaps them on their cheeks and head. ive told him about this lots of times that not only is it a sin but unsafe for children too. he held my youngest so tight once she stopped moving her left arm (2year old). what do i do. what can i read to change his attitude towards kids. i have talked to him but he doesnt belive in listening to a wife.  please help because this is affecting my kids. he went on holiday and was coming back. i told my children and 3 year old said “hes not going to hit me is he”? please advise in detail. jazakallah

Answer

Muhtaram / Muhtaramah ,

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

Jazakillah for writing to the institute regarding this sad state of affairs.


Sister, I will be quite straight about this matter. If you have already asked his parents and your parents to talk to him and he refuses to stop, then I suggest that you ask your local imaam to talk to him.
If that does not help, then remind him about Allah Ta’ala’s commandments in respect to the amaanat that has been placed in his care. Namely, his children. It also becomes incumbent upon you to protect these helpless children. You will also be held accountable as they are still too young to be able to speak up for themselves. I ask you to seriously think of reporting the matter to welfare if he does not listen to you. Tell him that you will do so if he does not stop beating them up. This is emotional, psychotically and physical abuse in its crudest form. Does your husband resent the fact that he does not have sons or is this his way of relating with anybody who he thinks he can bully?

Your daughters will grow up damaged, frightened, and unable to cope, without confidence and without a sense of how to relate with others amongst other damage that they could suffer. Please let me know what you think of my suggestions and if you will be able to go through with them. We can explore the matter further, insha’allah. May Allah Ta’ala guide all of you, protect your little girls and soften your husband’s heart, ameen.

And Allah knows best
Darul Iftaa

Madrasah Inaa’miyya

 

 

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