I am 27 yrs old sunni muslim, I am married since 2 yrs

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Ref no: 0070#

Date: Monday, May 02, 2011

Category

Social

Title

I am 27 yrs old sunni muslim, I am married since 2 yrs

Question

I am 27 yrs old sunni muslim, I am married since 2 yrs back to a man who was already married with 2 children it was our love marriage. We were NUS-BILLA in Haram Relationship since 5 yrs but I didn’t knew that he was married 6 mth before our marriage I came to know that he already has a wife, but till that time I was so close to the man that I couldn’t even think life without him as a same filmi style I try to kill myself also, we got married in march and in may my family got to know about it, they did my nikah again as formalities for society. I belong to a bit broad minded family where freinds in boys was almost allowed and I was very worng doing person in my life – Asstag-filullaf. Very outgoing and easily trusting people which spoiled my life alot. Now my husband is unable to trust me and he hits me and even fears me to leave on my silly mistakes. My husband’s family does not know that we got married nor my family know that my husband was married. I go in depression when he fights with me and have nobody to share the problem. I even lost my parent trust and in a fear that if I would say the truth i will lose them forever. Many times I did istahkhara about this matter to speak to my father-in-law, but my istakhara answer was always blank. I am in a state of what to do and what not to do. I AM VERY MUCH GUILTY OF MYSELF AND MY BEHAVIOUR TO MY PARENT. I DONT FIND A WAY TO REACH TO A PLACE WHERE I CAN LIVE HAPPILY WITH MY IN-LAWS WHAT CAN I DO SHOULD I SAY TRUTH TO MY FATHER – PLEASE GUILD ME WHAT TO DO GUILTNESS IN ME IS NOT LETTING ME TO LIVE SOMETIME I FEEL TO LEAVE EVERYTHING AND GO ANYWHERE.

 

Answer

Muhtaram / Muhtaramah

In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāh wa-barakātuh.

 

We have studied the contents of your email and sympathize that you have become a victim of your husband’s abuse. May Allah grant you Affiyah and protect you, Ameen.

It is natural for you to feel dejected and depressed if your husband treats you in this manner. However, this is the challenge of life that sometimes nothing goes according to ones wish and desire. This is the system of Allah that sometimes he puts certain conditions and challenges on his close and beloved servants so that they may ponder and reflect over their wrongs and once again turn to Him. Those who take heed and turn to Allah, are certainly blessed and enjoy the pleasure of Allah. However, those who turn away from Allah and take the situation in their own hand sink deeper into their problems and Allah deprives them of his divine help, peace and contentment.

Many who face challenges in their life become so frustrated that they begin to think taking ones life is the only solution. However, this is a satanic delusion. In fact that is only the beginning of ones problem. When such a person will meet the horrors of the Hereafter for committing such an act, he will consider his problems in the world as minute and bearable.

We therefore suggest that you take courage and address the problem with the people concerned and do not allow your husband to manipulate the situation and take advantage of you. After all you are a human and can not be subjected to this type of behavior. If you have a reliable Alim/scholar in your area, you may contact him and take his advice on how to pursue this matter. He will be in a better position to advise as he might be aware of your family and their situation.

 

 

And Allah knows best
Darul Iftaa

Madrasah Inaa’miyya

 

 

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