Is my wife’s action permissible ?

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Ref no: 0082#

Date: Sunday, May 1, 2011

Category

Psychological and Social

Title

Is my wife’s action permissible ?

Question

 

My wife is a practising muslim. She has been in

contact with male friends in the past before marraige.

However after a long period of time has re established

contact via e mail. The male friend who is not a

muslim , had asked her permission to contact her for

which she agreed without my permission.

 

I objected to this when she told me about it. But my

wife says that she does not need my permission to be

in touch with her friends.

 

Could you please advise;

 

1. Is my wifes action permissable ?

 

2. If I knew about this could I have ignored this as

her husband and let her continue with her wish ?

 

3. Could you state any hadith to the above effect ?

Answer

Muhtaram / Muhtaramah

In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāh wa-barakātuh.

 

Allah Ta’ala says in the Holy Quran:

 

قل للمؤمنين يغضوا من أبصارهم ويحفظوا فروجهم ذلك أزكى لهم إن الله خبير بما يصنعون وقل للمؤمنات يغضضن من أبصارهن ويحفظن فروجهن ولا يبدين زينتهن إلا ما ظهر منها وليضربن بخمرهن على جيوبهن ولا يبدين زينتهن إلا لبعولتهن أو آبائهن أو آباء بعولتهن أو أبنائهن أو أبناء بعولتهن أو إخوانهن أو بني إخوانهن أو بني أخواتهن أو نسائهن أو ما ملكت أيمانهن أو التابعين غير أولي الإربة من الرجال أو الطفل الذين لم يظهروا على عورات النساء ولا يضربن بأرجلهن ليعلم ما يخفين من زينتهن وتوبوا إلى الله جميعا أيها المؤمنون لعلكم تفلحون

 

“Tell the believing men that they must lower their gazes and guard their private parts; it is more decent for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women that they must lower their gazes and guard their private parts, and must not expose their adornment, except that which appears thereof, and must wrap their bosoms with their shawls, and must not expose their adornment, except to their husbands or their fathers or the fathers of their husbands, or to their sons or the sons of their husbands, or to their brothers or the sons of their brothers or the sons of their sisters, or to their women, or to those owned by their right hands, or male attendants having no (sexual) urge, or to the children who are not yet conscious of the shames of women. And let them not stamp their feet in a way that the adornment they conceal is known. And repent to Allah O believers, all of you, so that you may achieve success”. (24:30-31)

 

This verse clearly states that a Muslim woman’s adornment is limited to her mehrams. Her voice is also part of her adornment, which is why she is supposed to speak to a non-mehram male in a non-alluring tone. She must observe full hijab in front of all other non-mehram males. Modesty is extremely important for a Muslim, as it says in several Hadiths:

 

الحياء من الإيمان والإيمان فى الجنة والبذاء من الجفاء والجفاء فى النار “Modesty is from Iman, and Iman leads you to Paradise. Shamelessness is from futile things, and futile things lead you to the fire of Hell. (Sunan Al-Tirmidhi, Vol. 2, P. 21, HM Saeed)

 

إن لكل دين خلقا وخلق الإسلام الحياء

“Verily in every religion there is morality, the morality of Islam is modesty”. (Sunan Ibn Majah)

 

الحياء لا يأتى إلا بخير

“Modesty does not come except with good”. (Sahih Muslim)

 

Allah Ta’ala made the rules of hijab incumbent upon the woman so that she may safeguard her dignity, honor, and modesty. Any type of unnecessary contact or communication with a non-mehram, whether in person, on the phone, e-mail, internet chat, SMS, etc. is strictly forbidden and is an act of immodesty. In fact, for a female to be in unnecessary contact with a non-mehram is considered a minor form of zina (adultery). In many instances, these acts start out slowly and eventually escalate into true zina, which is a major sin. This is why Allah Ta’ala says:

 

ولا تقربوا الزنا إنه كان فاحشة وساء سبيلا “And do not even go close to fornication. It is indeed a shameful act and an evil way to follow”. (17:32)

 

In this verse, Allah Ta’ala did not just say “Do not fornicate”, but He said do not even go close to it, meaning do not do things which may lead to adultery or fornication such as being in unnecessary contact with a non-mehram. Shaytan is quick to mislead the believers.

 

As the husband, it is incumbent upon you to prevent your wife from keeping in contact with non-mehrams. Allah Ta’ala dislikes those husbands who do not prevent their wives from committing immodest acts and do not care when they engage in those acts. In fact, a cuckold is disliked so much by Allah Ta’ala that it says in a Hadith:

 

ثلاثة لا يدخلون الجنة : الرجل يلبس لبسة المرأة ، والمرأة تلبس لبسة الرجل ، والديوث “Three types of people will not enter paradise: A man who dresses like a woman, a woman who dresses like a man, and a cuckold”. (Shu’ab al-Iman of Bayhaqee)

 

Therefore, you must warn your wife of this prohibition and exert your efforts to stop her. This will protect her dignity and modesty. She must also make sincere tawbah (repentance) and istighfar (seeking of forgiveness) and make a firm resolution that the act will never again be committed. Allah Ta’ala is the Most-Forgiving and surely accepts sincere repentance of His servants as is stated in the Holy Quran:

 

ومن يعمل سوءا أو يظلم نفسه ثم يستغفر الله يجد الله غفورا رحيما “Whosoever commits a sin or wrongs himself and then seeks Allah’s forgiveness, he will surely find that Allah is most forgiving, most merciful.” (4:110)

 

May Allah Ta’ala guide us all and protect us.

 

 

And Allah knows best
Darul Iftaa

Madrasah Inaa’miyya

 

 

· The Sharée ruling herein given is specifically based on the question posed and should be read in conjunction with the question.

· The Darul Ifta bears no responsibility to any party who may or may not act on this answer. The Darul Ifta being hereby exempted from loss or damage howsoever caused.

· This answer may not be used as evidence in any Court of Law without prior written consent of the Darul Ifta.