Dear Mufti Saheb
I am 20 years old, and a muislim trying to do the best to practise his deen in the western world. So, Two days agi, I have performed Nikah over telephone with my cousine, there have been more then 5 witnesses and a hafez on both sides. The Hafez at her side performed the khutba and all that stuff…we listned just our part. But not the part of hers, when she said “qabool”, But my relatives stated that she did…and her parents too. So I wanted to know if this Nikah is valid or not? I just have seen her pictures, and she did see mine. I talked to her once….but it seems to me, that her parents don’t want me to talk to her the way as ai wish. they say that i just shall ask her how she is and such things. Is it so? that we have to wate till rukhsati…she is very kindminded, and just dont know what to talk to me…but I have fallen in love with her 6 years before, and just carried this feelings with me, I want to share this feelings…Do i have to wate un till Rukhsati(which will find place after 5 months) ??? Can her parents prevent me to talk to her, or can my own parents do that? Can I send her gifts and so on?….Short:….What are her rights before the rukhsati, and what are mine???
Muhtaram / Muhtaramah
In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāh wa-barakātuh.
According to Shariah, one of the conditions for the validity of a Nikah is that the Iejaab (proposal) and Qubool (acceptance) be made in the same sitting. That is the husband and wife or their representatives make the proposal and acceptance in the same majlis (sitting). If the Iejaab and Qubool were made in different sittings or places, the Nikah is not valid (Al Bahrur Raaiq Vol.3 Page 148 Rashidiyya). Therefore, since the Iejaab and Qubool is not found in the same sitting over a telephone, the nikah performed over the speaker of the telephone is not valid (Aap ke Massail Aur Unka Hal Vol. 5 Page 40)
Secondly, you state that you did not hear the words Qubool from her side.
According to Shariah, it is necessary for the contracting parties to hear the Iejaab and Qubool. Therefore, since you did not hear the Qubool the Nikah
is not valid (Al Bahrur Raaiq Vol.3 Page 148 Rashidiyya).
Because of the above, your Nikah to the girl is not valid. Therefore you are not regarded as husband and wife. She is still regarded to be a stranger to you and you may not have contact with her.
However, if you are in another country and wish to make Nikah with her, you may appoint someone as your Wakeel (representative). Your Wakeel will make the Iejaab or Qubool on your behalf in the same sitting as the girl in the presence of two male witnesses and your Nikah to her will then be valid.
You state that you had fallen in love with her six years ago. It was Haraam for you to fall in love with a stranger. You should sincerely repent to Allah for the sin of Zina of the hands, eyes, mind etc.
In conclusion, once your Nikah is valid to her you may talk to her as normal husband and wife. There is no restriction upon you once you perform Nikah.
However, some customs have an understanding that the husband promises not to have physical relation with the girl until Rukhsati. If that is the understanding in your situation, it will be necessary to honor that. If you break this promise it will have no bearing on the validity of your Nikah
(Alamghiri, Al Lubaab).
And Allah Knows Best
Darul Iftaa, Madrasah Inaamiyya