My sisters in law (my brother’s wife) has hacked my personal email account

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Date: Monday, January 31st 2011

Category

Family Matters

Title

My sisters in law (my brother’s wife) has hacked my personal email account

Question

Asalaam-o-alikum wrwb,

My sisters in law (my brother’s wife) has hacked my personal email account and later said some very untrue things about me and tried to put me down front of my friends and family even with my brother who loves me. I just did not respond to anything she did to me or said about me. This is very disgraceful for a women like me.  She even went to my future to be husband’s family and portrayed bad stuff about me. I never have any bad relationship with her or I never did anything to her just because my brother is very attached to me and loves me she can’t take that. And believe me if I’m saying this, she is highly respected and my brother loves her dearly, provided her all necessities but she always have doubt on him that he is having affairs. This is her second marriage with my brother. she has three kids with my brother. it’s  been 8 years small things she makes it big issue now it is getting worse. I even told my brother just to make her happy cut off with me. We don’t have family here it’s just me and him, he doesn’t come at my place often but whenever he does she gets upset and start taunting him and then matter gets worse.  And mind that I am not even living  with them, I live independently and I don’t take any financial help from my brother just because of jealousy she does all that. My question is since she did that all to me do I will get punished by completely cutting off with her. (Not talking and meeting)  I forgive her and I will say salaam to her if I just see her around. Please advice I read when you cut off with your family it’s not good. But now I have no choice.i was greatly in pain by her disloyalty. Please also tell in “qatah rahmi qatah taluq” who comes in? your immediate family? or every one you know.? and this kind of circumstances can i keep my self separate from her.

Secondly after all this the person is still standing strong about me but rest of the family slightly went against me.  I can clear things by talking to them but I don’t want to since I strongly believe that Allah swt will show them the truth one day. My brother is also getting doubts that you should not get married to this kind of family who just changed on false things. Do you think I should not get married to this person mind that he is waiting for me about 10 years. And he is not going to get married to anyone else. His deceased father purposed me for him since then he never considers any other girl. Please advice if the person is honest and sincere with you.  Do we still have to look for the family? lineage ect. ?what should  be done?We both are adults and we know we can have prosperous life and work on our hereafter. thanks you for your efforts in this matter. jazakallah

Answer

In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāh wa-barakātuh.

Respected Sister

There are three issues to your query:

 

· Your relationship with your sister in law

· Your brother

· Your future husband

 

 

Rasulullah () said “Join those who break off relations with you, forgive those who oppress you, be good to those who are bad to you” Tirmizi.

 

In view of the above hadith, it is encouraged that you do not break off ties with her despite what she has done to you. Allah loves those who forgive and overlook. Although the pain for not retaliating is severe, the reward that Allah will give in the Hereafter is unimaginable. We all face challenges in life. Today is difficult and tomorrow its all forgotten. Therefore do not allow her behavior to grip you in a way that will completely ruin you and your future. However, it is wise to know who our friends are and who our enemies are. You should therefore maintain normal relationship of making Salaam etc. You should avoid becoming too personal with her as this might prove to be disadvantageous to you in the future.

 

It is your duty to maintain a good relationship with your brother especially when you have no close relative besides him nearby. You should explain to him the intricacy of the situation and look for ways to manage your relationship with your brother. It will not be wise to jeopardize his relationship with his wife while trying to maintain your relationship with him more so when he has three children with her. You may consider talking on the phone more often when his wife is not near him instead of him coming to your house often.

 

We understand that you are proposed to the boy for the last 10 years. If you are in a position to marry him then it is encouraged that you do not delay in the marriage. Undue delay in performing the Nikah will lead to many Fitnas. If you are satisfied with the boy together with him having clean habits and is a practicing Muslim, you should hasten in performing the nikah. Do not worry of those who are trying to blackmail you as Allah will take care of them. Focus on what you have to do and leave the rest to Allah.

 

And Allah Knows Best

Darul Iftaa

Madrasah Inaa’miyya