If a married daughter is visiting her father’s house

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Kataab: Miscellanous

Baab

Fatwa: 7

 

 

Date: Friday , January 27, 2012

 

 

 

Question

 

 

 

 

 If a married daughter is visiting her father's house for two weeks with the permission of her husband, can the father claim the money spent on her from the husband, saying it’s about responsibility for the husband? Is this not a means of breaking and destroying family ties? Is it then better for the husband to only let his wife do day visits to her father’s house to avoid conflict and an extra expense, which at times runs into the thousands? Can the spending on the daughter be divided into needs and wants?

 

 

 

 

Answer

 

Muhtaram / Muhtaramah

 

In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāh wa-barakātuh.

 

Generally fathers spend on their married daughters out of love and kindness for them. After marriage, they miss them and look forward to their visits.  The money spent on them during their visits or holidays is not deemed a burden, but rather a gesture of love, kindness and hospitality.

 

For the father to claim from his son-in-law the money spent on his daughter during her holidays at his home raises concern. We are unaware of the situation and thus cannot comment with accuracy. However, there may be one of three possibilities relating to the problem:

 

1. The father is tight fisted i.e. possessive of his wealth.

2. The son-in-law is unsupportive to his wife and does not see to her requirements; as a result she is forced to spend off her father’s wealth.

3. The daughter is lavish in her spending and squanders the wealth of her father.

 

In situation one, it will be a wise idea to do day visits and avoid extra expenses for the father.

 

In situation two, the husband should be supportive to his wife, see to her requirements and endeavour to fulfill them to the best of his ability, without putting himself into undue stress and difficulty. In this way, the wife will not have to spend off her father’s wealth to fulfill her requirements.    

 

In situation three, the lavish way of the daughter surely puts her husband and father into tension. The husband is unable to sustain her lavish ways and thus she squanders the wealth of her father to satisfy these lavish ways of hers. This is definitely incorrect on her part and un-Islamic. In such a situation, she is blameworthy and not the father or husband.

 

In answering your query, we state:

1. If the father does not wish to spend on his daughter during her visits, he should mention this beforehand.

2. We cannot give a ruling on the situation until we are aware of the reasons why the father is claiming the money from the husband.   

 

And Allah knows best
Darul Iftaa

Madrasah Inaa’miyyah

 

 

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