Overlooking The Shortcomings Of A Spouse

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Overlooking The Shortcomings Of A Spouse

A man came to Hadrat 'Umar (رضي الله عنه) to complain about his wife. As he reached his door, he heard Umm Kulthoom (رضي الله عنها), 'Umar's (رضي الله عنه) wife, speaking harshly to him.

The man thought to himself, "I intended to complain about my wife to him, but he appears to be afflicted with the same problem I am experiencing."

He turned around and began to leave. Hadrat 'Umar (رضي الله عنه) noticed him leaving and called him back. When questioned about his visit, he explained, "I came to complain to you about my wife, but I overheard your wife and decided to leave."

Hadrat 'Umar (رضي الله عنه) explained, "I have adopted a forgiving nature towards her because of the rights she has upon me.

Firstly, she serves as a barrier between me and hell-fire and my heart is contented with her as she saves me from indulging in haraam.

Secondly, she protects my wealth when I leave my home.

Thirdly, she washes my clothes.

Fourthly, she attends to the upbringing of my children.

And fifthly, she cooks and prepares my food."

After hearing this, the man replied, "I enjoy the same benefits from my wife, but I have never overlooked her faults and shortcomings. In future, I shall do so." [Safhaatun Raa'idah fi Maseeratil 'Adaalah, p 287; Tambeehul Ghaafileen]

One of the secrets of marital bliss and harmony is to focus on the positives of one's spouse and forgive the shortcomings. [Pearls from the Path, volume 3]

Seifeddine-M